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It seems that more and more clients are coming to me saying they don’t have enough time, and not even time to get X, Y or Z done, but time to actually slow down and look after themselves.
It’s totally crazy. We are putting so much pressure on ourselves we are literally making ourselves sick.
Now don’t get me wrong I totally understand that you have responsibilities and commitments, and it’s hard to slow down. I get it. But there also comes a time where I feel it’s important to ask ourselves – how much do I value my own health and well-being?
Because as harsh as this sounds – if you TRULY valued your own health and well-being you would somehow find the time and space to give yourself what you need.
If you truly valued your health and well-being you would finally put yourself first, you would finally slow down and if really needed you would finally stop.
That my friends is the honest truth.
For those with CFS this is even more important. If you don’t find the space you need to slow down and stop then I can promise you, you will never recover. It took me a while to learn this, but when I did that was when saw the real change happen.
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Before we move into finding the space we need to recover, I want to talk a little bit about how we get to that place of truly valuing our own health and well-being, because real change won’t happen until we get to that point.
Having this belief requires a certain amount of self love and I believe one of the best ways to improve our self love is through AFFIRMATIONS.
Now if you are new to affirmations this all might sound a bit weird, but give it a go anyway.
There are a few different ways you can incorporate affirmations into your life. Firstly you have to find affirmations that resonate with YOU. I will give you a few suggestion soon, but feel free to come up with some of your own.
It’s then a matter of repeating these affirmations (out loud) to yourself many times throughout the day. Say them when you first wake, when you get out of the shower – make sure you look yourself in the eyes – when you are stuck in traffic and before you go to sleep. Another great thing to do is to write them out and stick them up in various places you will see throughout the day, on the fridge, the bathroom mirror, above your desk.
You want to immerse yourself in these affirmations everyday. I should also point out, don’t worry if when you first start doing this exercise you don’t believe what you are saying, that belief will come with time. The important part is that you keep repeating them to yourself regardless of what you believe.
When writing your affirmations make sure they are positive and in the present tense – like they have already happened.
Some examples for you:
+ I love and respect myself.
+ I treat my body with the love and respect it deserves.
+ I feel vibrant and energised.
+ I give my body what it needs to heal.
+ I value myself.
+ I am worthy of being taken care off.
And as I said feel free to write your own, there are no rules, anything that resonates with is perfect.
Keep repeating your affirmations over and over until slowly over time you find yourself believing them.
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Now that you have a beautiful brimming cup of self love, it’s time to look at ways in, which you can actually create the space you need to recover from Chronic Fatigue. Unfortunately this recovery isn’t going to happen over night, just like it won’t happen without some change and effort on your behalf.
But trust me with constant effort you will start to see some beautiful results, it will be worth it I promise.
Okay so let’s just do a quick re-cap, you have come to the point where you value your won health and well-being and you realise that for you to fully recover from CFS you will need to create some space to slow down and stop.
But how do you create that space?
This is where the fun, okay maybe hard bit comes into play, this is where the change and effort are required. There are many ways you can create space in your life, it’s in many ways just having the belief in yourself and courage to actually do it.
Here are some ways you can create some space in your life:
+ Find 1hr everyday where you can do something just for you, whether that time is before everyone else get’s up, during your lunch break, before the kids get home from school. If finding 1hr seems too much, start with 15min and slowly build up from there. You have to start creating some time for you.
+ This could mean getting a babysitter for the kids, or getting friends and family to help.
+ You may need to start saying no more often. This one is hard I know, but a rule I had when I was really sick is that I would only say yes to something if when I was asked my initial reaction was “hell yes” In other words it was something I really wanted to do. If I was only going because I thought I should, and I knew that staying home would be better for me, then I said no. It can be hard at first, and there will be some people that don’t understand, but your true friends will and they will support you in your decisions.
+ Cutting down your work hours, or stopping work all together may be needed for a while. This I found to be the hardest decision to make. I felt like I was letting people down, both myself and my work, and financially it was something that was really challenging, but there got to a point where I knew it had to be done, and somehow I made it work. Even just going to part time could make a huge difference, having some later starts or earlier finishes could be exactly what you need.
+ Another way to create some space is to actually get away for a little while. It doesn’t have to be a big long trip, but even just a weekend away can give you that space you need, and allow you to think about what others changes you may need to make.
They are a few of my ideas, and some things that I actually did in my own recovery. Now I know that I don’t have children of my own, but at the time I was working full time, with a mortgage, so I do understand what it is like to have a high degree of responsibilities and commitment.
The first thing I encourage you to do is admit that changes need to be made, until you admit that things can not keep going as they are, you will find it really hard to actually create the space you need. You will still be coming from a place of resistance, and that my friends is a really hard place to make changes from.