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I feel I should start this post by saying that she didn’t physically throw my book at me. I can just imagine some of you sitting there what a crazy doctor you must have, who throws a book at their patient!! It was nothing at all like that, I actually have an amazing doctor, who puts up with a lot from me. What she did on that day was tell me exactly what I needed to hear.
About a month or so ago I went to the doctor, and at the time I thought it would be a really good idea to give her a copy of my eBook. Why? Because ultimately I want to get this book into the hands of as many CFS sufferers as possible, and surely a doctor is someone who potentially comes across many of these people. What I was not expecting was her to then give me some of my own advice. In all honesty though I needed to hear what she said.
Before we go any further I should say that I went to the doctors because I was basically over everything, emotionally I was feeling flat. This has a lot to do with my endometriosis, every month when I get my period my mood dramatically drops, and this was one of those times. I am working with my naturopath to improve this, but as you can imagine it takes time, and patience is not one of my strong points. So every month when this happens I get super frustrated and feel like giving up.
Anyway I digress, back to the whole book and doctor situation. What I love most about my doctor is that she says it like it is, it’s not sugar coated, it’s the honest truth, but done in a caring way. I know this approach is not for everyone, but for me it works. I don’t want the fluff, I want to be told straight up what I need to do.
So when I gave her my book that’s exactly what she proceeded to do, tell me straight up how it was. She flipped through the book stopping at different sections and proceeded to ask:
Are you doing this?
Do you have a good routine right now?
What exercise are you doing?
Are you eating well?
(My answer to all those questions was no)
I sat there thinking “hey this book is all about me giving the advice not the other way round.”
There is something so frustrating about someone giving you your own advice back – mainly because 90% of the time they are right. You are not following your own advice.
I can quite easily and confidently tell me clients what will help them feel better, yet I was not doing any of this is my own life.
I thought I was or maybe I just tried to convince myself that I was, because sometimes denial is so much easier. It was easier to help everyone else improve their health than to honestly look at how I was looking after myself.
I left that appointment slightly stunned, my grand plan of sharing my own book had backfired. But I also left with this new sense of determination. I was like that’s it, I actually have control here, I need to make sure I am doing everything in my power to feel amazing. I also knew that I had to keep it simple, I have tendency to go into something like this with all guns blazing, stating all the big changes I am going to make. This time I tried a slightly different approach, I made a list of the 4 most basic things I can do daily to feel my best.
I came up with:
Eat 3 healthy meals.
Take all my supplements.
All things that at the time I wasn’t doing consistently, even though I told myself I was.
I made a checklist, something I could physically tick off everyday. I needed to hold myself accountable, I needed to actually see what I was and wasn’t doing each day. No more denial. I also added a section down the bottom for how I was feeling physically and emotionally that day. And finally I included what day of my cycle I was on because I was quickly learning that this had a big influence on how I was feeling, especially emotionally.
I went back to the doctor at the start of this week, and part of me was slightly concerned what she was going to say after reading the whole book.
All she said was 14 words, but they were bloody powerful words:
“What you have written is really good, but your not doing any of it.”
She was 100% correct. I of course immediately told her very enthusiastically about the daily checklist I had devised. Which I might add got the tick of approval!
This got me thinking that so often we know what we should be doing, we don’t need to turn to some guru to give us the answers. We are our own guru, we know the answers, but for so many reasons so many of us (me included) are not doing what we know we should be doing. We often need that gentle, or sometimes not so gentle reminder to set us on the right path again, We also need that accountability to keep us on the right path, it’s bloody hard to do it all by yourself.
I am so glad that I shared my eBook with my doctor and I am even more glad that she gave me the wake up call I so desperately needed. This wake up call of course did not fix everything straight away, I still have my ups and downs, but the one thing I feel is that I have slightly more control over everything, and that over time things will start to improve.
If deep down you know what you should be doing, but for some reason you aren’t actually doing it, I would love to help you. I would love to be your cheerleader, to help you get back on the path and keep you there.
I have 2 coaching spots opening up in June, s shoot me an email (email@example.com) to get more info. I would absolutely love to work with you.